Bro Team Pill: Skyrim

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.

Get the mp3 here:

Here’s them songwords:

Going to skip the part where I say “yeah” a bunch of times
Get straight the the Lyrics Forge, craft some fucking rhymes
And if it’s anything like smithing in Elder Scrolls Five
Then I’ll exploit this motherfucker up to level ninety-nine.

You make an iron dagger, you enchant that shit too
No more iron ingots? Run that bitch through!
I don’t fuck around in caves like some retard fucking Dwemer
Get away from my grindstone! I’ll break your fucking femur!

I’ve been waiting for Skyrim since I turned thirty-nine
Extended adolescence suits me just fine
Don’t worry about child support when you’re a dragon lord
I just trapped your soul in my motherfucking sword.

Graphics in this shit looks like art by Helen Keller
I want a wife so real you can motherfucking smell her
But these people all look like Perfect Dark 64
Motherfucker teleports when he opens up the door.

Start the game as a prisoner, for Azura’s fucking sake
Redguard can never catch a motherfucking break
Sean Connery’s brother saves your neck from division
Repaying him with murder’s now your number one mission.

I’m a destruction mage and I’m wearing full dragons
No penalty for that shit, come at me bandit faggots!
Not that you even get to choose a fucking class
How’s this even armour? It’s made of fucking glass!

To pick a fucking lock, you turn it left and right
To pick a fucking wife, you keep your dick in sight
To kill a fucking dragon, you just shout at the clouds
And to get mad rep, you wolf out in crowds.

Two days out of jail, I’m the master of every guild
No one seems to mind all the villagers I’ve killed
They dumbed this series down, should’ve called it “Retard Heaven”
There’s only 18 skills, Morrowind had 27.

I can’t tell you’ve been playing by the radius of your stink
Beard on your throat and the cheese on your dink
Quit your fucking job just to work in a game
So sit on your throne, as the Prince of the Lame.

Mess with the best, get beat down and undressed
I know you did this too, your jerk rags confessed
What a great feature: Bunch of shouts that do nothing
I’ll clear the skies, motherfucker! You know I’m not bluffing!

Ghosts in this shit just want to be bros
Even underground it still fucking snows
Three dragons at once? That shit’s fucking fair
I just made a potion out of salt and pubic hair.

How original! Skeletons and wizards and ants
I see that shit every time I take off my pants
Wow, and since Oblivion the voice cast got bigger!
Three more people and one of them’s Tigger.

Wrong! Discovered Solitude when I was 15
Master of One-Handed with my daily routine
[Formula for defining a comoving distance]
Cool fucking dragon language! Mine’s sweet too.

Game’s so fucking short, you’re done as soon as you begin it
Skyrim is shit but at least there’s sewers in it.